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So, today was the big day. The Bean started nursery. I felt excited about her starting but also really apprehensive. I've been at home with her for almost four months now and we're really close - she's a great companion, so it seemed strange that she would be gone for the whole day. I packed her little lunchbox and D and Pops came too to drop her off. D said he had a lump in his throat the whole time especially when we walked in and saw her coat peg with her name above it. The settling in procedure at The Bean's nursery is that the parent stays for as long as it takes for the child to settle in. D went off to work with a heavy heart and I tried to blend into the background so she could get on with playing. Eventually the staff told me to go into the staffroom and have a cuppa to see how The Bean coped. She coped remarkably well! In fact she didn't ask for me once! I decided to leave the building and with the nursery staff's permission I nipped to Sainsburys. I thought i'd do something to keep my mind off leaving her, like the boring weekly shop (which was remarkably easier with only one small baby to wheel around instead of a toddler spying the chocolate aisle). All was fine until I bumped into a friend in the fruit section and dissolved into tears...suddenly the thought of The Bean all on her own was too much for me to take. I finished the shop and rushed home eager to see her, only to be called by the nursery to come at 2.30pm as The Bean was still doing really well and hadn't cried or asked for me once. In fact I ended up picking her up at 5pm (practically a whole working day away from me!!) - she did the entire day with no fuss. When I walked in at the end of the day, she announced to the whole room, 'that's my Mummy'...

So, it's official (in our house anyway) The Bean starting nursery was much more traumatic for D and I, (Pops loved it because she had me to herself all day), than for The Bean. She talked non-stop all the way home about the play-doh and the messy room and her new friends (with names like Florence, Astrid and Gwyneth) and her new teachers. I admit it, part of me wanted her to miss me, to run after me as I left (which I remember doing to my mum when I was far too old to get away with it) or at least have a few tears about leaving her mummy. In fact the tears came when I told her it was going-home time. I suppose this is the first step your child takes onto the road of being truely independent from you, great for the child, horrible for all those mums out there going through the first day of nursery or school. So, for anyone who found themselves snivelling into a bag of celery in the supermarket today, this post is for you.