gurgle.com blog

So much for the planned c-section... At 3am on Wednesday 21st May I woke up with a stomach cramp. I thought it was food poisoning as my husband and I had eaten meatballs and spaghetti and weren't 100% sure they were cooked! I went to the loo and had another contraction on the loo. At this point I admitted to myself that I was actually in labour. I woke my husband and we timed my contractions. They seemed to be five minuted apart so we phoned the maternity ward and they said to come in. This was only about twenty minutes since the first contraction. My sister arrived to look after The Bean and I even managed to have a shower and discuss with her what I should wear (we abandoned the idea of jeans and went for trackie bottoms and a loose top - both of which had to be thrown away!).

My contractions felt like period pains but much sharper, I definitely had to breath deeply through them and my sister commented that I seemed to be in more pain than she remembered from the early stages of labour. After a kiss with The Bean, (who had woken up in the commotion) we jumped into the car and made our way to St Marys. Luckily it was about 4am so there was no traffic on the roads as my contractions were coming every two minutes and my husband was having to stop the car whilst I had them!

We parked the car and had to walk to the front entrance of the hospital which was a five minute walk away. On this short journey I had two contractions and passed a man who was making his way to Paddington Station with various suitcases. He could immediately tell what was happening; a woman with a huge tummy groaning and holding on to her husband for dear life could only mean one thing outside a maternity hospital! He understandably avoided all eye contact with us and I think I saw pity in his eyes!

Once inside I was taken to the maternity day care area to be assessed. I don't think they thought I was in labour and there was some confusion because my C-section was booked for later that day. I continued to have contractions and when they did an internal examination I was 4cm dilated! I was taken straight through to a delivery suite - they believed me now! It was probably because I still felt fairly relaxed. My contractions were painful but not unbearable, if only I knew what was to come...

I continued having contractions which got more and more painful and closer together. The only way I could deal with the pain was to shut my eyes, stop speaking and breathe deeply. At some point I was introduced to gas and air which became my friend over the next few hours. I basically felt as if I was having an out-of-body experience because it was so painful, but I was aware of things happening like the weather and traffic report on the radio and my husband discussing The Apprentice with the midwives. A couple of hours later I was in a lot of pain. The midwives said they'd check me in four hours but they did a quick check and just as well, I was 8cm dilated! This was at about 8-9am in the morning and they estimated that I had a couple of hours left to go. Actually I dilated to 10cm in about 20 minutes after that, my contractions became really frequent and there didn't seem to be much space between them. I was managing on gas and air but taking a lot of it in, so in between contractions I was pretty spaced out. All I wanted was a little break, I think I was pleading to everyone that I needed a quick break, even just for twenty minutes of relief. No such luck, the contractions just got more painful and closer together. I think at this point I was screaming out with each contraction, and I had no control over the sounds coming out of my mouth.

At about 9.30am I felt an incredible urge to push, I sensed the midwives were surprised by how quickly i'd progressed. It basically felt like I needed a massive poo and it was SO painful. Because I was 10cm I was allowed to push and it was such a relief. It actually gave me something to focus on even though it was incredibly painful. By this stage I had to give up on the gas and air because pushing was easier without it. The problem was I just couldn't push my baby out. I tried so hard and eventually pushed for an hour and a half. The midwives were telling me to visualise a ridge I had to get my baby over, but it was no good, apparently they could see the head with every contraction but it was going back in again in between contractions! In the end I was so tired and contractions were so close together they decided to give me an episiotomy. After this my baby came out almost straight away.

At 10.32am on Wednesday 21st May my daughter Poppy was born and put on my stomach. My husband cut the cord and I felt utterly overwhelmed. All that pain and pushing was worth it when I looked at my tiny daughter, who at 8lbs wasn't that tiny! I put her to my breast and she breastfed straight away. She was very dark like me and had a huge mop of black hair. Funny because The Bean's hair is almost blonde... I remember the placenta coming out shortly afterwards and having a good look at it because I didn't see the placenta when I had my previous C-section as I was fascinated by what it looked like.

Unfortunately on closer inspection (by about five people) as well as having an episiotomy I also tore - and had third degree tears so I needed surgery straight away. It seemed really strange to be wheeled into the theatre away from my husband and Poppy and given a spinal block - exactly as if I was having a c-section. And I was feeling so proud of myself for having a VBAC. After an hour in surgery I was wheeled out to my lovely beautiful baby Poppy who had well and truly bonded with my husband whilst I was away and he'd had to change her first nappy!

So, nothing has happened yet, not even a twinge or a cramp or an aching back! This baby is clearly very happy inside me and unlike The Bean, is in no hurry to come out. My C-section is booked for tomorrow and because I have had a previous section I can't be induced and my consultant doesn't want me to go much over my due date. I'm starting to get nervous now, at least last time I had no idea what a c-section involved where as this time around I am remembering the pain... not to mention the catherter! On the plus side I can remember the morphine and how utterly perfect The Bean looked when she was first handed to me...

Apart from the pain there are the comedy c-section socks you have to wear afterwards to help decrease the chance of blood clots and the fetching hospital gown I'll have to wear. Having a c-section may be the choice of many a celebrity mum, but it's certainly not glamorous!

So the membrane sweep clearly didn't work as it's now been over 48 hours and i'm feeling nothing. Not even a twinge or back ache! On the plus side I've been able to spend lots of time with The Bean who is loving the fact that mummy is suddenly around every day. In fact at the Mummy and Toddler group she was quite clingy with me and is normally very independent, so either she is aware that i'm around more often and is enjoying it or she can feel the impending arrival of number two and is making the most of mum!

I am being plagued by phone calls from EVERYONE I know about whether I am in labour yet. For anyone who is phoning me to check on my progress, I promise I will let you know if anything exciting happens. If you don't hear anything - it probably means nothing has happened! I'm sure it will all happen soon and you'll be the first to know...

Tomorrow is my due date, so this morning I went for my routine antenatal to discuss my 'mode of delivery'! Everything looks fine in terms of signs of pre-eclampsia (there are no signs which is encouraging). But the midwife did suggest she try a 'membrane sweep' on me... I was fine with this as I know what it is (the midwife basically sweeps the top of the cervix with her fingers to separate the membranes - this releases hormones called prostaglandins and can kick-start labour), but I wasn't prepared for just how painful it was. It was agony! I know it's nothing like giving birth and only lasts for about 40 seconds, but I felt like begging for a caesarean there and then.

So now I am at home waiting for something to happen. My books (and gurgle) say that labour can start within 48 hours of a 'sweep', but it can also do nothing. Now I really am a cat on a hot tin roof, i'll keep you posted...

It's the holy grail question of pregnancy; when will labour start? Unless your baby came early (like my first) you'll have probably wondered at some point when your contractions will start, what they feel like and whether your waters will break every time you bend down! OK, I admit, it's driving me mad... that and the 'helpful' advice from anyone I know who has had a baby (for your information I am eating curry every night, drinking raspberry leaf tea and chomping on pineapple at every opportunity).

Because I have had a 'problem' pregnancy before I have to have regular checks at the maternity day centre every two days. I feel like I know the staff by name and I can see them sighing as I walk in and thinking, 'so you're not in labour yet - poor you!' More disconcerting is the waiting room we have to wait in at every appointment, which is pretty much in the labour ward. This means we have to sit and wait whilst hearing other women in labour. There is nothing worse than hearing someone in pain, but if you know you will also be experiencing the pain in the near future, it's even scarier. The best thing to do is make no eye contact with anyone and ignore the staff rushing in and out of the delivery room... Sudoku helps...

Because I have had a previous C-section, my consultant has said that I cannot go over my due date which is Saturday 17th May (this Saturday). This means if I don't go into labour naturally by Saturday, I will probably end up having a Ceasarean very soon. I don't mind about this because I have had a C-section before and I just want my baby (and me) to be safe. What is scary is thinking we will have a baby this time next week... I'll keep you posted!

Tomorrow is my last day at gurgle.com as I start my maternity leave for six months. Part of me is looking forward to being at home, especially during the summer, looking after my toddler and soon to be newborn. The other half of me will probably miss working at gurgle. It is especially hard if you enjoy your job ( I do) and if you are used to working. Still, looking after a toddler and a newborn will probably be much harder than being the editor of gurgle.com.

Every twinge I feel at the moment has me wondering whether labour is starting... Will my waters break? When will contractions start? Will I have a show? Or will I end up having another C-section as I did with The Bean? My husband thinks i'm nesting because I've gone into overdrive sorting out The Bean's bedroom (where the new baby will sleep too).  I haven't been scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush as some pregnant women have reported, but I do feel like cleaning all the time.

The other joys of having one week to go before D-day are hugely swollen ankles and fingers. This beautiful hot weather doesn't help (especially when using public transport) and also having had pre eclampsia with my first pregnancy it means I have to be checked constantly for pre-eclampsic signs such as severe swelling in the hands feet and face, high blood pressure, protein in the urine and if I see flashing lights or feel dizzy. Luckily so far i've only got mild swelling in my feet and although it's pretty hard to hobble around, I can probably cope as i only have nine days left till my due date!

I am hoping for a VBAC (Vaginal birth after Caesarean) this time around, but if you have had a previous c-section as I did, there are some rules that must be observed. The first is that I cannot be induced. This is because having an induction brings labour on very quickly and sometimes painfully and is too much pressure on a previous caesarean scar. The general worry is that a woman can suffer from a uterine rupture, where the previous c-section scar and tissue can rupture during labour. Because of this inductions are on the whole ruled out for women who have had previous c-sections. Also if labour starts naturally and does not progress I cannot be given drugs to help labour on for the same reasons as inductions. With this in mind i'm feeling fairly positive about having a VBAC, but I know that if I reach my due date and labour has not happened it's another c-section for me! Because I had  a c-section before I don't mind having one again. The whole experience was very positive and I recovered very quickly and only have a tiny scar...

I'll try to keep you all posted on what happens from now until my due date but your guess is as good as mine!