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So we've muddled along and reached six weeks. Pops is now pretty big, well over ten pounds and doing really well. I definitely don't feel as sleep deprived as I did with The Bean, but life is much more of a juggling act. This morning I tried to pay a few household bills over the phone with a crying baby and eventually when she realised I wouldn't play with her, a crying toddler too. Needless to say nothing got paid. I did remember to fill out my child benefit form (which all parents are entitled too, so don't forget to do it) and my washing machine is just about managing the strain of washing newborn and toddler clothes, my clothes and my husbands (notice that my husbands clothes are last on this list, i'm afraid the girls in my house get priority!)

I also had my first dilemma today. I was driving somewhere with Pops and The Bean and both had fallen asleep. Then I realised I had no petrol. So, should I fill the car, then wake both children and haul them into the petrol station to pay? Or, should I run in and pay leaving my sleeping children in a car in a London petrol station? I did the latter but locked all the doors. I didn't want to wake them and I kept my eyes on my car the whole time. If anyone had got within an inch of my car I would have been over in a mili-second ready with a rubbish rugby tackle.

Six weeks on and I feel a lot better too. There is no more pain with the stitches and tears and I no longer wince when sitting down. Slowly, day by day, the memory of the birth and labour fade in my mind and i'm definitely forgetting the pain. In fact, in my mind it wasn't really that painful... my mum was right - you do forget the pain of labour and i find myself describing the experience to my pregnant friends as 'pretty good really', amazing what the mind can do...

So Pops is the perfect baby all day, she practically sleeps all the time and when she is awake she is very calm and contented. She's also the perfect baby at night, she wakes every three hours for a feed and goes straight back to sleep again. The problem seems to be in the evenings. Now I know I shouldn't complain as she is so good, but I am determined to reclaim my evenings. From about 8pm onwards (roughly the time I put The Bean to bed and start winding down) Pops starts crying and only seems satisfied when she is continuously feeding from me. She get quite frustrated at the breast and her whole demeanor is unsettled. At around 11pm when I go to bed she has her last feed and settles for the night. Is this colic? My instincts tell me not, because she doesn't seem that upset, but bouts of unexplained crying do suggest colic. I wouldn't mind getting my evenings back, just so I can feel sane after being with a toddler and a newborn all day. It's also tiring to feed Pops all evening. On the plus side my baby weight is dropping off rapidly because Pops is taking so much from me! Today I had my six-week 'third degree tear' check, where they check the stitches and the healing process. My mum always told me that after you have a baby you lose all inhibitions and smear tests and the like are a breeze. Well, this wasn't exactly a breeze, but I definitely didn't feel embarrassed as I beared all.... Thankfully everything is healing well and the consultant even mentioned whether I planned to have more children! Mmmmmmm Some of you have emailed me about not being able to register onto gurgle.com recently. We're sorry for any complications anyone experiences and we know about the problem. We are constantly updating and trying to make gurgle.com better for you, but sometimes in the process, snags can happen. We are working to fix this and we hope you continue to visit gurgle for all your parenting queries whilst we update the site. We promise you you an even better gurgle eventually!

Yep, it's official, i'm exhausted! Juggling a toddler and new baby is definitely hard work. I laugh at statements I read in books like 'sleep when your baby is sleeping' and 'try to get as much rest as possible'. The problem with looking after two children of different ages is that they aren't in synch when it comes to sleep, which means no time off at all for mummy. I'm surviving by drinking loads of cups of tea - who knows what effect this has on breastmilk! I'm reading 'The Best Friends Guide to Motherhood', by Vicki Iovine, and she states that if a normal human being experienced that same sleep deprivation as a new mum, they would be verging on psychotic by now! Luckily, second time around, you're well used to it and you also realise that it doesn't last forever. The other issue is remembering to eat. The first time around when The Bean was born I remember being hungry all the time, but this time, possibly because i've got quite a lot on my hands, I keep forgetting to eat and have basically survived on cereal or finishing off The Bean's leftover sweetcorn. I'm going home to see my mum tomorrow so I'm looking forward to being pampered with food (mum already phoned me to ask whether i wanted a roast - Mmmmm) cups of tea and the ultimate luxury - a bath! My eyes are feeling heavy as i'm writing this and I know that even if I do fall asleep, i'll have to wake in a couple of hours to feed Pops, still, both my girls are fast asleep so i'll take advantage of the situation and get some shut eye, if only for 20 mins....

The Bean has started biting and hitting other children at the toddler group we go to. I can't ignore the fact that her behaviour coincides with the arrival of Pops, but it could also be the terrible twos. It's fairly embarrassing when your child is the only one in the room being horrible to other children. At home we sit her on the naughty step and let her know what she has done wrong, at nursery I give her a stern telling off and remove her from any situation which is fraught but she still seems to misbehave day after day. Of course she is a perfect angel for her Dad, so I half suspect he doesn't believe me when I tell him the mischief she's been making... I asked my mum what I was like as a toddler and guess what - I went through a stage of biting and hitting other children when I was two years old - Is history repeating itself? Has she inherited something from two-year-old me? At least my mum said it didn't last for long, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like a bad mother when my child has whacked someone over the head with a saucepan! All suggestions on dealing with naughty toddler will be greatly appreciated! Pops is sleeping well and because of The Bean's behaviour, largely gets ignored. This is probably a good thing and I'm hoping she be less needy in the long run... I still feel guilty that I can't spend enough one-on-one time with her, as I did with The Bean when she was small. I've talked to other mums and this seems to be a familiar worry for most second-time-around parents. I wonder of it is easier for Octopus' when they have second babies - what I need are more arms... I went to a Hen 'lunch' on saturday and took Pops. Because she is only three weeks old and sleeps for almost all of the time she's great to take out and about with me. In fact she slept quite happily when someone else's four year old stepped on her carrycot, not realising their was a baby asleep! We had lunch at Petersham Nurseries in Richmond, which was lovely. There were three of us breastfeeding and two pregnant ladies and one with a toddler, but the restaurant staff didn't seem to mind and nor did the other diners. It's really refreshing to know that people are more tolerant of breastfeeding in public now. It is also worth mentioning that we were all very discreet and had muslins covering our modesty. So there you have it, yes it was a hen night, and no i'm afraid we stuck to white wine spritzers but at least we got our boobs out...

I had to take Pops for her first 'weigh in'. Unfortunately the nice friendly GP's who used to hold the baby clinic have stopped doing it now (it's apparently down to funding) and I had to drive to a clinic ages away, park the car on a meter and rush to be seen by 11.30am. Getting out of the house with a toddler and a newborn is a military mission - I have to be ultra organised - which I am not - and I have to remember two sets of nappies/wipes/muslins/juice/snacks and of course sanitary towels! The good news is that Pops has put on loads of weight - she's nearly ten pounds (I can't believe some women have to give birth to ten pound babies - not sure i'd fancy that!) It also means that breastfeeding is going well, although Pops still tends to cluster feed in the evening. This means she is basically feeding continuously all evening until I go to bed at around 11pm. I mentioned this to the health visitor who suggested that Pops could have a bit of colic and she might be feeding for comfort rather than hunger. Her advice was to properly wind Pops after every feed, for at least a minute. I've probably rushed winding her a bit because i've had to deal with The Bean, so now I'm going to take more time over Pops to see if this helps. It's a quiet moment as i'm typing this. Both my daughters are asleep. The health visitor asked if i was managing to get any rest in the day as this can help with my milk supply - i practically laughed in her face. It's very rare that they sleep at the same time and if they do i have mountains of washing to sort out... might just close my eyes and have a quick rest now though...Zzzzzzzz

No one said it would be easy looking after a newborn and a toddler but I AM TIRED! The Bean is definitely having more tantrums than usual and it's a battle to get her to do anything. I basically have to bargain with her to do the simplest thing; if you put your shoes on we can go to the park, or, if you have a nap now like a good girl, we'll go and have a babychino in Starbucks (yes -tragically this is one of my bargainning tools!) I know the terrible twos have coincided with the birth of my second daughter so most of The Bean's behaviour is probably because my attention is elsewhere at the moment. The problem is i'm breastfeeding Pops on demand, so The Bean is left up to her own naughty devices while this happens. This morning we were at a mother and toddler group and whilst I was feeding Pops I saw The Bean twist another little boys EAR because he was trying to take her pretend croissant out of the pretend cooker. Part of me wanted to laugh (male/female power struggle in the kitchen?) , but instead I dashed across the room with Pops still attached to me and told The Bean off - yep comical! On the plus side, The Bean keeps telling me that she loves me which is possibly the sweetest thing your child can ever say - whether they understand the meaning or not. Pops is still a really content newborn and we are approaching three weeks old this week. Time seems to be flying by already and Pops has lost that 'newborn' look. She has small pink spots similar to acne on her face, which I remember The Bean having. Her skin is also peeling which the midwife says is because her skin was submerged in water when she was inside me so is reacting to the world outside! I'm giving her massages with olive oil to help. Pops practically sleeps all day, but sadly not all night. Last night she decided she was hungry every two hours, but she went straight to sleep after each feed so I still don't feel as shattered as I did with The Bean where I was pacing the bedroom trying to get her to fall asleep again. The health visitor reminded me that because we live in London, Pops has to have her BCG injection soon... it just seems so cruel! The Bean is SO ready to be potty trained. She tells me each time she needs a wee or poo, but because I also have a three week old baby i'm burying my head about it. Think how much i'd have to pack in my already bulging Cath Kidston bag if I had to take a few changes of clothes for The Bean too... I will have to start soon though as The Bean starts nursery in September and I would really like her to be potty trained before then. Plus she HATES nappies! And as for me... i'm pretty low down on the priority list once i've got the girls sorted and fed and washed, but i've finished the pain killers the hospital prescribed when I was discharged so i'm surviving on Paracetamol. It's still painful to get up and down from the sofa as anyone who has had third degree tears will agree, but each day is better. I'm sure i'd be in more pain if i'd had a c-section? I'm just re-reading Jools Oliver's book, Minus nine to one, as it's interesting to see how she coped with a toddler and a newborn. It is lovely and rewarding and I feel very lucky, but i'm also exhausted and have NO time to myself anymore. To top it off this week Desperate Housewives finishes and so does The Apprentice - the only thing on TV seems to be football matches for Euro 2008 which seems unfair - when is there a month of TV for the ladies?

Thankfully Pops and I were 'released' from hospital after two days which was great because I couldn't cope with the hospital food any longer. I know it's a cliche to moan about the food, but I was told by the consultant to eat lots of leafy green vegetables because I had lost so much blood during the delivery, but on inspection of the hospital food 'menu', pasty and chips was the healthiest option - it was worse than school dinners. A Jamie Oliver shake up is drastically needed!

On our way home from hospital I reminded my husband that he was now living in a household with three females. This basically means he is lowest down in the pecking order for everything, especially when it comes to his clothes getting washed. He seemed to accept this with resigned reluctance, whilst our brand new daughter snuffled happily in her car seat!

Luckily my mother-in-law was staying at ours for a few days, mainly to look after The Bean, but also to help out in general. Most of you would be horrified at the thought of your mother-in-law staying after you have had a baby, but if you have a boisterous two year old to look after too, you'd be glad of any help whilst you get settled. The strangest thing is thinking that we are now a family of four. Suddenly the parenting 'game' seems very serious and with one child you can still get away with having slices of your old life (which basically means taking The Bean to dinner parties and putting her to bed at friend's houses), but with two children you feel you really become a family. It also means you never have any time to yourself as you both have one child each to look after!

Pops is amazing (I'm sure all new parents think this) but because my experience of a newborn is The Bean who was five weeks premature, this time it seems totally different. Pops sleeps ALL the time and goes a good four/five hours at night. It took The Bean ages to do this. Pops was also able to breastfeed straight after she was born, whereas The Bean took a while to get the hang of it because she was so small. I also think I am more relaxed as a mother and i'm sure this rubs off on Pops. She also gets left all the time because I have to deal with The Bean's needs too.

The down side to the euphoric newborn period is having to take copious amounts of painkillers because of the third degree tears and subsequent surgery. I am literally taking so many tablets to quell the pain it's ridiculous, but essential. I forgot to take a dose yesterday and OUCH I could barely sit down! The other post partum delight i'd forgotten about is post partum bleeding. Mmmm a toddler in nappies, a newborn in nappies and a mummy in, well....

The great things about having a newborn again are...
1) The smell of a newborn baby - if someone could bottle the lovely milky smell of a newborn they'd make a fortune
2) The way newborn babies sleep anywhere especially in the nook of your arm
3) Letting the housework got to pot and then not feeling too guilty when your mother turns up and does it...
4) Digging out all The Bean's tiny baby grows and socks
5) Being able to see your toes again and watching your body (slowly) going back to normal
6) Endless cuddles


The not so great things about having a newborn again...
1) Obviously lack of sleep, but I really cannot complain about this as Pops is such a good sleeper
2) Not being able to go to the cinema to watch Sex and the City or Indiana Jones as I am breastfeeding
3) Smelling of baby sick and being proud of it

OK, there are far more positives to having a newborn than negatives, which is of course is why we go on to have more children despite knowing that we'll have baby sick on both shoulders for the next six months...

So much for the planned c-section... At 3am on Wednesday 21st May I woke up with a stomach cramp. I thought it was food poisoning as my husband and I had eaten meatballs and spaghetti and weren't 100% sure they were cooked! I went to the loo and had another contraction on the loo. At this point I admitted to myself that I was actually in labour. I woke my husband and we timed my contractions. They seemed to be five minuted apart so we phoned the maternity ward and they said to come in. This was only about twenty minutes since the first contraction. My sister arrived to look after The Bean and I even managed to have a shower and discuss with her what I should wear (we abandoned the idea of jeans and went for trackie bottoms and a loose top - both of which had to be thrown away!).

My contractions felt like period pains but much sharper, I definitely had to breath deeply through them and my sister commented that I seemed to be in more pain than she remembered from the early stages of labour. After a kiss with The Bean, (who had woken up in the commotion) we jumped into the car and made our way to St Marys. Luckily it was about 4am so there was no traffic on the roads as my contractions were coming every two minutes and my husband was having to stop the car whilst I had them!

We parked the car and had to walk to the front entrance of the hospital which was a five minute walk away. On this short journey I had two contractions and passed a man who was making his way to Paddington Station with various suitcases. He could immediately tell what was happening; a woman with a huge tummy groaning and holding on to her husband for dear life could only mean one thing outside a maternity hospital! He understandably avoided all eye contact with us and I think I saw pity in his eyes!

Once inside I was taken to the maternity day care area to be assessed. I don't think they thought I was in labour and there was some confusion because my C-section was booked for later that day. I continued to have contractions and when they did an internal examination I was 4cm dilated! I was taken straight through to a delivery suite - they believed me now! It was probably because I still felt fairly relaxed. My contractions were painful but not unbearable, if only I knew what was to come...

I continued having contractions which got more and more painful and closer together. The only way I could deal with the pain was to shut my eyes, stop speaking and breathe deeply. At some point I was introduced to gas and air which became my friend over the next few hours. I basically felt as if I was having an out-of-body experience because it was so painful, but I was aware of things happening like the weather and traffic report on the radio and my husband discussing The Apprentice with the midwives. A couple of hours later I was in a lot of pain. The midwives said they'd check me in four hours but they did a quick check and just as well, I was 8cm dilated! This was at about 8-9am in the morning and they estimated that I had a couple of hours left to go. Actually I dilated to 10cm in about 20 minutes after that, my contractions became really frequent and there didn't seem to be much space between them. I was managing on gas and air but taking a lot of it in, so in between contractions I was pretty spaced out. All I wanted was a little break, I think I was pleading to everyone that I needed a quick break, even just for twenty minutes of relief. No such luck, the contractions just got more painful and closer together. I think at this point I was screaming out with each contraction, and I had no control over the sounds coming out of my mouth.

At about 9.30am I felt an incredible urge to push, I sensed the midwives were surprised by how quickly i'd progressed. It basically felt like I needed a massive poo and it was SO painful. Because I was 10cm I was allowed to push and it was such a relief. It actually gave me something to focus on even though it was incredibly painful. By this stage I had to give up on the gas and air because pushing was easier without it. The problem was I just couldn't push my baby out. I tried so hard and eventually pushed for an hour and a half. The midwives were telling me to visualise a ridge I had to get my baby over, but it was no good, apparently they could see the head with every contraction but it was going back in again in between contractions! In the end I was so tired and contractions were so close together they decided to give me an episiotomy. After this my baby came out almost straight away.

At 10.32am on Wednesday 21st May my daughter Poppy was born and put on my stomach. My husband cut the cord and I felt utterly overwhelmed. All that pain and pushing was worth it when I looked at my tiny daughter, who at 8lbs wasn't that tiny! I put her to my breast and she breastfed straight away. She was very dark like me and had a huge mop of black hair. Funny because The Bean's hair is almost blonde... I remember the placenta coming out shortly afterwards and having a good look at it because I didn't see the placenta when I had my previous C-section as I was fascinated by what it looked like.

Unfortunately on closer inspection (by about five people) as well as having an episiotomy I also tore - and had third degree tears so I needed surgery straight away. It seemed really strange to be wheeled into the theatre away from my husband and Poppy and given a spinal block - exactly as if I was having a c-section. And I was feeling so proud of myself for having a VBAC. After an hour in surgery I was wheeled out to my lovely beautiful baby Poppy who had well and truly bonded with my husband whilst I was away and he'd had to change her first nappy!

So, nothing has happened yet, not even a twinge or a cramp or an aching back! This baby is clearly very happy inside me and unlike The Bean, is in no hurry to come out. My C-section is booked for tomorrow and because I have had a previous section I can't be induced and my consultant doesn't want me to go much over my due date. I'm starting to get nervous now, at least last time I had no idea what a c-section involved where as this time around I am remembering the pain... not to mention the catherter! On the plus side I can remember the morphine and how utterly perfect The Bean looked when she was first handed to me...

Apart from the pain there are the comedy c-section socks you have to wear afterwards to help decrease the chance of blood clots and the fetching hospital gown I'll have to wear. Having a c-section may be the choice of many a celebrity mum, but it's certainly not glamorous!

So the membrane sweep clearly didn't work as it's now been over 48 hours and i'm feeling nothing. Not even a twinge or back ache! On the plus side I've been able to spend lots of time with The Bean who is loving the fact that mummy is suddenly around every day. In fact at the Mummy and Toddler group she was quite clingy with me and is normally very independent, so either she is aware that i'm around more often and is enjoying it or she can feel the impending arrival of number two and is making the most of mum!

I am being plagued by phone calls from EVERYONE I know about whether I am in labour yet. For anyone who is phoning me to check on my progress, I promise I will let you know if anything exciting happens. If you don't hear anything - it probably means nothing has happened! I'm sure it will all happen soon and you'll be the first to know...